Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel
If you don't read the rest of the book you can read these on discipline and encouragement - pages 221-225
32. We need to raise strong kids in a grace-based environment, not shelter them from everything to keep them safe.
33. We don’t need Pharisees, but parents who guide their children onto straight paths.
It’s like fishing – put on the hook something they like to eat, not what you like. What you like in church and what they like may be different. Teens, especially, may want to worship in a different way. It is fine as long as it is Biblical and respectful to God.
40. Grace-based does not mean children “get out of responsibility free”. Christ paid the ultimate sacrifice. He took on way more responsibility than we ever will. Leave your cares on Jesus. Embrace truth, not legalism.
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present ages, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good”. Titus 2:11-14
self-controlled, upright and godly lives
a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good
41. Look to Jesus as your lighthouse
52. ”Love is the commitment of my will
to your needs and best interests
regardless of the cost”.
Parents have to do what is best for their children. Sometimes it costs us our own opinions, stereotypes, prejudices, and convenience.
66. Parents make mistakes. Ask God to forgive you. Ask your children to forgive you.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms”. I Peter 4:8-10.
112. Groom your children according to their natural bents. Encourage your child’s natural and unique gifts and skills. Help them develop them into assets they can use as adults.
Develop your own skills and talents. How did you develop these? Guide your children to develop theirs. Even if you hate art museums (or sports, or cars, etc.), if your child is into art, go anyway to show that their interests are of intrinsic value.
120. The disciples didn’t practice “safe Christianity”. Let your child explore their own faith. They may get hurt at times. Be there to guide them.
124. Teach your children how to fail and get on with life. Both victories and defeats can eventually be turned into accomplishments. Turn their abilities into assets.
129. Listen to your children. Acknowledge their fears. Pray with them.
134. “Grace-based families are homes where children are given”
a. The freedom to be different
b. The freedom to be vunerable
c. The freedom to be candid
d. The freedom to make mistakes
157. Set reasonable boundaries, Bible based, for your children and be prepared to explain them.
172. Base parenting decisions on truth and fact. Be sensitive to your children’s vulnerabilities.
*185. Be truthful and honest BUT use candor. Candor is a way of communicating freely without prejudice or malice. Frame the truth in a way that does not hurt people. Be honorable in your truth, using a careful forthrightness that guards the other person’s dignity.
193. Ephesians 4:14-15:
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
195. Parents are in charge. They have the ultimate say. Listen to the children’s opinions, however. Let them voice their thoughts and fears. Don’t jump to conclusions. In Matthew 26:39 Jesus is dying on the cross and asking His Father if there are any other possibilities. Even Jesus wondered at times about His Father’s decisions, but ultimately He knew it was the best and only path.
We want an authentic relationship at the heart level with our children.
202. Moses practices intercessory prayer in Exodus 32:11-13. Pray for your children. Ask God to forgive them and lead you to lead them in God’s will.
203. Colossians 4:6
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
204. Ephesians 4:25-32 selections
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
209. Let children have their “beefs”. Maybe you should bend or break the parenting rules sometimes if it is a reasonable gripe.
213. Grace-based parents realize that their children need security in their hearst, significance in their lives,and strength for the future.
214. Romans 5-8 . We are forgiven by God and should be forgiving in our parenting decisions, but grace is not easy. It is at the price of following God. Pleasing God puts us on a narrow path, but it is a joyous path to follow, knowing we are in the will of God. Take your power for living from God’s love. Then you can give unbounded love to your children. Staying in God’s will will keep both you and them from sin in the first place.
*216. Grace-based children are accepted as sinners who desire to become more like Christ rather than be seen s nice Christian kids trying to maintain a good moral code.
221. When children misbehave: 1. evaluate, 2. discuss, 3. make consequences
222. I love you too much to let you continue in this pattern and grow up with this bad behavior, so I am stopping you from doing it.